its my dear friend sha's birthday today. so here's to many many happy birthday wishes and hoping she has a great one this year. i cant imagine not having her as a friend during my time here in nz and i wish her the best in everything. its so nice to see her come all the way from what she was like when we first arrived here to now - self assured, strong, and brave. i'm so proud to call her my friend and i'm glad that we are friends. happy birthday sha :)

 

NOW ON TO NEWS ABOUT ME:

 

job interview today. no idea on how it turned out, and i'll leave it up to the employers to decide whether i get it or not. i hope i get it. and thats all there is to it. i get it, i'll do my best and get some money and some experience too.

 

i also have just bought....THE ARRIVAL by SHAUN TAN . i've been looking for that book since last year. and when i saw it in ubs, the first thing that went through my mind was "I HAVE TO HAVE IT!!". grabbed the book and paid for it and left :P and i love it. since we're on the topic of interesting artists, keep an eye out for EDWARD MONKTON too. i like their stuff. you might too :)

i dont know if i've mentioned that my cousin got married late last month. she's the only one who's older than i am (on my mother's side). so yea, i'm the second eldest. do i feel pressured to get married next? frankly speaking, NO. i dont mind if my younger cousins get married before me. i've got other things to do and getting married can wait. i still want to travel. and i dont know if i'll be staying in teaching forever. personally, if i cant guarantee or cant foresee some sort of stability in my current situation, i dont think settling down and getting married would be the wisest choice for that moment. i do feel a little left out cause i couldnt be there for her wedding though. i mean, we were pretty close growing up (compared to my other cousins) and now she's married.

 

my housemate just got engaged. she's not just my housemate, she's also my coursemate. its going to be a long engagement for them cause they're both still studying. congrats and many well wishes to my coursemate and cousin.

 

the semester has officially started today. on the way to class i could see people walking around campus with new books. and people taking Eng101 buying all the readings. (ITS NOT WORTH IT IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO READ THEM ALL!trust me, i know) buying books is financially draining. i only have 3 courses this semester and only 1 has a final exam. so i'm pretty sweet with my free time. somebody hire me already! i needs the moneys!

 

onto another random topic...

 

its amazing how some people would never come across as being selfish and stubborn, when in actual fact they are. you know what they say about books and covers. its nothing that has affected me personally that i have to state this observation, but rather its just what it is. its just an observation. like i said; books and covers, baby. books and covers.

 

tutorials arent starting till next week. i cant believe its going to be the whole semester-cycle again. lectures, readings, tutorials, assignments, deadlines. and then i'll be left with one and a half years here. and i havent done as much as i want to here yet!  

the one thing i dont like about looking for a job is having to sift through all the listings and then apply for them one by one. chances of getting a callback are really low, but at this point i just need a job. and if i have to jump from one telemarketing job to another (OH NO) i guess that'll have to do. they pay you pretty sweet but its a terrible job with just as terrible working conditions.

 

guess beggars cant be choosers can they?  

come monday we'll start having classes again. part of me is looking forward to it, just to put some routine to my life so i dont die of boredom. or the subsequent depression from boredom. its been a very interesting intersemester break and it has left me wanting to travel more. doesnt really matter where, really, as long as its cheap and clean enough :P

 

i'm still in need of a job. if anyone comes across any jobs that you feel i am capable of. let me know. either that or you are most welcome to make a donation to my bank account. thing of it as a trust fund for my wellbeing. contact me for donation details. your donation will be most appreciated.

i've always kinda had this desire to go to different places around the world and see how the people live and see what their culture is like. i just think it'd be such an awesome thing to do. also there are so many beautiful places on earth that are naturally breathtaking - i want to see these places.

 

i think this desire to see the world as a traveller has gotten stronger after the trip to tonga. its not a bad thing, because i honestly think its better for me to spend my money going out and gaining these experiences and meeting other travellers than just bumming around in a city and spending my money shopping. i mean honestly, and its sad to say that it took me a trip that nearly lasted a week without internet OR a cellphone OR tv (i'm proud of myself), but i've reached this level of clarity where i know there are things that are far more important than the latest celebrity gossip, or the newest type of shoes that everyone's wearing. its not to say that i completely disapprove of watching tv or wanting to dress up to look nice (heck, i believe in dressing up to look nice). its just that i feel that these things are not as important. i really feel that. good on you if you like bags and stuff, but i dont think thats for me. personally i think its the people we meet and the experiences you share with other people that make life so much more colourful and fun.

 

so yea. here i am, planning to drag iain across the country during summer just to get out, and hopefully we'll find cheapo accommodation (why spend so much money on a place you're just going to sleep in when you should be out exploring most of the time) and with enough money, maybe we can do lots of fun stuff :) he can go snorkel or something - i'll sit on the beach soaking up the sun and enjoying duty free booze :D

 

ping's gone back to malaysia today :( i'm going to miss her. its hard to believe she was only here for a very short while cause it feels like she's been here for longer. there goes the rollies :( we might meet up end of the year anyways. fingers crossed we will :)

 

i dont know where else to go.  

the trip to tonga came and went. BUT WHAT A TRIP IT WAS! i had no idea what to expect but i really had a great time. we met new people, made new friends and enjoyed the warm weather. completely awesome winter break. and i'm so glad we picked tonga. sure it was cheap (-ish) and there was no starbucks or mcdonalds or burger king or kfc. but that was what i loved about it. it really felt like i was going somewhere ELSE. and it felt great. should i go into details about what we did each day? probably should eh, just a short quick one.

 

 

flight to tonga in the afternoon, but it was pouring here. we waited for the airport bus in the rain and got pretty wet and cold. but we arrived at the airport all safe, and soon we were waiting around for our flight. due to boredom we took sily pictures and made silly videos of ourselves.

 

we thought the flight would be delayed, but NAY! it was not! and soon we were on a three hour flight to tonga. it was quite turbulent, but before arrival the pilot announced the weather at our destination. "the temperature is a warm 24 degrees". and you could hear everyone going "AAAaaahhhhh...."

 

arrived at airport and breezed through customs. soon we were on our way to our accommodation. YAYY!! speed limit was 40 km/ph and we just cruised along listening to tongan music on the radio. it was very very relaxing. we arrived at about 9 in the evening. but it was all good. 

 

after settling our belongings, we just chilled outside the house where we stayed (BLUE HOUSE!) and just took it all in. there were millipedes on the ground and lizards on the walls. it all felt strangely familiar.

 

 

we had originally intended to go to church cause thats what everybody does on sunday there. BUT (and this was something i thought was very strange) the government had shut the power AND water for the entire island of tongatapu at 9 am. i brushed my teeth and washed my face with bottled water cause thats all i had. someone had taken a crap in the toilet and couldnt flush so he tried covering it with toilet paper. poor dude.

 

we did NOT end up going to church. instead, we went on the island tour. we got taken around to all the attractions on the main island. although it was a cloudy day, i still had a great time. the beaches are beautiful there. and the natural beauty of tonga is just.. WOW. we saw the blow holes  which were really cool. 

 

THAT NIGHT - we had us some kava . we got the guy who runs the place we stayed at to have a kava ceremony since there was enough of us to have kava. and this is what i have to say to anyone who's curious about it: try it if you get the chance, cause you might not want to do it again. it tasted...weird. kinda like crushed panadol in water. something like that. but yea. at first we were like OH GOD THIS IS TERRIBLE. you drink one coconut shell cup worth of kava and chuck a little bit out as a token for the gods. after 11 cups of kava, we were done and called it a night.

 

 

we headed out with these other 2 girls we met into town. just took a look around and see what everyone was up to. pretty interesting and relaxing. we had some coconuts too :P

 

the 5 of us went to the beautiful offshore island of ATATA. getting there and back was quite affordable, and it turned out to be a really great day thing. we went snorkelling. YEs i went snorkeling too. and i dont like it. the coral reef thingy was really ugly and i got freaked out. so i was in and out of the water really quickly. i did see some weird stuff down there tho. there was a giant clam that opened and closed, a huge reef thing that looked quite ugly and a small blue/purple fish. and since i was out of the water really quickly, i was self-appointed cameraperson for the rest, which i preferred. snorkeling is not my thing. i'm more of a LAND person.

 

we came back from atata on this motorboat type thing. ACROSS THE OCEAN! it was so much more fun than the proper boat. there were these rock formations just rising out of the ocean that we probably could not have seen if we were in the other proper boat :P

 

 

on to the beautiful island of pangaimotu! the sun was out so it was such a sunny day. the water was clear and it was nice and warm. there was a shipwreck just about 20 feet from the beach where people could swim to and snorkel around. as for me, i stayed on the land. and enjoyed the sun, the clear water and stayed away from the fish.

 

the 9th of july was also my friend's birthday, so we celebrated at a dinner show. hot HOT HOT dancers. and we had such a good time at the dinner show. the food was yummy! i love the roasted pork. it was sooooo good. my grandma would have loved it. although i think i'm allergic to taro leaves. after swallowing a mouthful i had this weird stinging sensation in my mouth, all over my tongue, and down my throat. it was like pins and needles and it hurt to swallow. i was quite scared so i kept quiet for a bit. after that it was fine. and i was fine :P 

 

 

we thought we'd have an extra day in tonga, cause there werent usually flights back on that day. but after checking, there was a flight, and we had to leave soon. this was our last day, and we all felt quite sad to have to leave. we wandered around town a bit. we went out for dinner, courtesy of leni. and we had so much fun. it was such a great time just relaxing.

 

 

3 am - flight back from tonga. we arrived safe.

 

it was quite nice having a few days away from the bustling traffic and the busy city and miserable auckland weather. it was so relaxing not to worry about my cellphone, or the internet (cause it was so expensive). all in all, it was a great trip and i'm sl proud of us for going through with it. we wanted a trip, we planned it and we did it. i'm broke now, but it was worth it.

 

the pacific islands are a great place to visit, and i'm a little biased towards tonga. if you get the chance to go, do it.  

 

 

i'm heading off to tonga tomorrow for the mid-winter break. i'll be back on the 11th. i'm supposed to pack right now but, as usual, i'm just putting it off till someone tells me to get it done. i have no idea what to expect in tonga. hopefully it'll be fun :) i just hope i dont get too broke. oh well. phone home i guess.

 

its been a rough week for most of us, one way or another. i wont go into too much detail about myself or what was so rough about my week. i think its enough for me to say that things will be ok. its a lot to hope for after what has happened and considering the consequences that have followed but it may just be this hope thats keeping me from falling apart right now. i dont know how but i have to be strong. if not for myself, then for the people that care for me.

 

it'll be so much easier if life were all black and white. but its not - there are varying shades of grey. and i suppose that its these shades of grey and how we deal with them that make us human, and its also what gives us our humanity (yes, they're two different things).

 

people can make mistakes. sometimes these are terrible. i made mistakes. i've made some mistakes in the past where i could not answer to myself as to why i did what i did, and i cant believe i've done it again. for me personally, the hardest person to face up to is myself. maybe i'm setting standards that are too high for myself or maybe i'm being too harsh on myself - i dont know. but i'm the hardest person in the world to please when it comes to dealing with myself. making mistakes where i cannot look at myself anymore is something i just cannot do anymore. it hurts me and above all, it hurts people who truly care for me.

 

i guess the hardest part is getting back on your feet and making sure you dont let yourself slide into feeling defeated and regretting everything - which is so easy to do. maybe i owe it to myself to make sure i'll be alright after this. i know i well and truly owe it to iain. i have absolutely no idea how to make it up to him but i promise myself i will. even if it means he has to whip out The List again. i'll make it up to him.

 

easier said than done i know. but at least now i can say it. a few days ago i couldnt even do that. so maybe thats progress on my part.

 

well i guess i should pack right now. will update after tonga. have a good winter wherever you are.